Dancing on the Waves

John 17.  

Jesus interceding for us.  

Imagine His prayer as a song.  

I love to imagine this is what Araella heard 

before she left to walk on the water and dance on the waves.

On December 30, 2017, Rae wrote in her journal, 

"I am never going to die.  I already did.  I am just going to be with Jesus."

Today, I dare you to believe how much Jesus loves you.  
To see His love in everyone and everything. 
To know that He promises to be with you always.
And ultimately, to know that He desires for you to be with Him.

Dancing on the Waves

We The Kingdom 

I'm standing at your door

My heart is calling yours

Come fall into my arms

You're weary from it all

Been running for too long

I'm here to bring you home

I'm reaching out, I'll chase you down

I dare you to believe how much I love you now

Don't be afraid, I am your strength

We'll be walking on the water, dancing on the waves

Look up and lift your eyes

The future's open wide

I have great plans for you,  oh, yes, I do

Your past is dead and gone

Your healing has begun

I'm making all things new, ohh

I'm reaching out, I'll chase you down

I dare you to believe how much I love you now, ohh

Don't be afraid, I am your strength

We'll be walking on the water, dancing on the waves

Dancing on the waves

Can you see us just dancing?

I set every star into place

So you would remember my name

I made it all for you

You are my masterpiece

You are the reason I sing

This is my song for you

Every star in the sky

I set every star into place

So you would remember my name

I made it all for you

You are my masterpiece

You are the reason I sing

This is my song for you

John 17: 24-26

Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. O righteous Father, even though the world does not know you, I know you, and these know that you have sent me. I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.”

Easter in Heaven

Araella joyfully put aside her school work to attend Good Friday worship service last year. It was such a blessing that Easter weekend was early. Rae was able to fellowship with family, to be in the pre-egg-hunt-cousin photos, and to celebrate the Hope of Heaven on Resurrection Sunday.

Shortly after Araella left earth, I decided I would put some of the annual Easter photos together in a memory book for my family. It was a bitter-sweet project that I kept postponing. The heaviness of knowing Rae would be missing from every Easter photo in the future, made it feel forlorn. Until one Saturday morning in February when I was nudged to create the gift so that it would be ready for this Easter. I searched for photos with the brightest smiles – photos of family loving each other. I included verses from God’s Word and some of Rae’s encouraging words from her last week on earth. I wanted the book to be warm and encouraging. In my mind, the last page would be the dated cousin photo from Easter 2018. But it was sad. Even Rae’s bright smile didn’t bring the comfort I had hoped it would. It needed a new ending.

I looked through the photos again - at the ones I had taken of just Araella. I hadn’t added any of those to the book, but for some reason, those images brought me peace. The last page I thought, I will put one of just Rae there - in black and white - maybe faded along with an “In Memory of Rae” caption or something… 

But when I clicked to type the caption, I listened to a whisper and I wrote something else. 💛 The joy captured in that still-shot moment wasn’t gone. The caption on the last page couldn’t mark an ending. It needed to celebrate a beginning. Yes, of course, we have a living hope! Jesus ransomed Rae. He set her free! She is a Child of God. Easter!

On this Good Friday - and every day - I am going to try to remember to celebrate Jesus' victory over death the way I imagine they celebrate in Heaven. Will you join me?

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. 

(I Peter 1:3)

Reflections

Romans 8 was Araella's favorite chapter. Each time I read it, something new calls out to me. Today it seems to caption these reflections from my heart:

When we first moved into our townhouse, Araella was not quite five. And, although she was fairly tall for her age, I remember clearly how she stood at the bathroom sink as I was getting ready to hang a decorative mirror.  "A little lower Mommy. A little lower. There. Now I can see me." That mirror still hangs awkwardly low in our powder room. It makes me smile at the memory of Araella on her tippy-toes trying to see herself that day. The memory of her sweet reflection feels like sunshine. A refection of wonder, innocence, melodies, rhymes, goodness, trust, gentleness, and kindness... 

That mirror also makes me pause and think of her reflection the last time she stood in front of it. I can see her trying to hide how much pain she was in. I can see her eyes asking for help. I can see her resolve as I stood there, washing her back with a warm washcloth, wondering what to say... Her reflection wasn't capable of expressing everything that was Rae that day... behind it were thoughts, dreams, fears, lyrics, poems, wishes, joys, sorrows, bruises, scars, regrets, questions, longings, love and faithfulness... behind that reflection was Araella.  

Behind that reflection of a broken body was the Spirit that gives life. Behind that reflection was Rae suffering, yet believing in justice, holding on to unseen hope, and having patience. Waiting for healing and freedom and glory to be revealed. Behind that reflection was a hero.

Behind every reflection - behind every photo - is a child of God. You. The you that is fearfully and wonderfully made. The you that is an heir to a Kingdom. The you that is a conqueror. The you that NOTHING can separate from the love of God. (The undeserved, unending love of the King of kings!)

It is a gift to be loved by Him. It was a gift to have had the chance to love Rae when she was here in the flesh. And oh how I look forward to loving her in her resurrected body someday! It is also a gift to have a heart that is overflowing with love for you - my adopted brothers and sisters!!! Mm-hmm, I am looking forward to GREAT BIG family reunions when we are all there together! 

YOU have an invitation to the reunion from the King! (If you are not quite sure how to get there, call me and I will help you with directions because google.maps doesn't have that one figured out.)

I Cherish You

The other day I found a little "mama love" doodle in Araella's lecture notes from March 2018, I listened to her sing Reckless Love from a phone recording she made on April 6, and I held a piece of pottery she sculpted with her hands in high school...

There are so many things that Araella created during her time here and each one is a treasure - a piece of her life that represents who she was. (Insert the sounds of a record player scratching to an abrupt stop.) It has been so difficult to put my thoughts into words since April 15th because of the word was - it just doesn't sit right with me... So, do I change the word and say "who she is."  No, that doesn't feel right either - because saying who she is implies that I really understand who she is in Paradise, which I don't.  (Hmm, maybe I just began to understand why God is described as being the Lord God Almighty who was and is and is to come...)

Ok, back to the subject of cherishing...

I spent the day going through some of the things Araella created... The folders she created on Pinterest, the playlists she created on Spotify, the sentences she created in cards and letters... as you can imagine, I remember and cherish her through each one - especially her written words.

And that is when I heard His voice in my heart.  "Joelle, I also created things for you to remember Me."  And I thought about daisies, and colorful leaves, the wind, and sunsets, the ocean, and birds, and Sukee... Everything He created. Everything! His written Word.  God created the Heavens (where Araella is now) and the earth (where we are)... I started to feel encouraged about looking beyond the things that Araella had created to the things He has created... and then, because I think I had still missed the point, I heard Him say, "And I created people for you to cherish."

As I type this now I think... Araella. I cherish Araella. Why couldn't I keep cherishing Rae here?! And a memory interrupts my questioning. Remember... Remember Araella's resolutions? The ones her roommates shared at the service? One of them was, "Love God by loving His people."  

People wonder how I am doing it... I don't know really, but a big part of it is love. I am embraced by a magnificent mingle of love from the people in my life and the people in Rae's life. Gosh, I really do love them! I love you all so much! And so I resolve that, while I am on this side of eternity, I will love Rae by loving her people - and I will love God by loving His people. 

I cherish you.

Rae's Resolutions:
1. Answer the call to pray for others
2. Be bold in my faith
3. Simplify my life... God is all that matters
4. Rest in His Peace
5. Love God by loving his people
6. Grow in an intimate relationship with God