Araella and I travel to CTCA again today for chemotherapy round 4 of 6 if blood work determines that she is healthy enough to handle it. It took Araella two weeks to recover from round 3. If you saw Araella or I this past week, you probably thought that she looked as healthy and as beautiful as ever. She has mastered gently caring for her hair, covering the circles under her eyes and putting color on her cheeks and lips with all-natural products from LUSH. (On the inside Araella's blood is telling a different story.) I, on the other hand, have not mastered the art of appearing put together with two broken wrists... Casts have limited my wardrobe choices and my ability to shower easily. I regret that they also limited my patience a few days (sorry if you witnessed that!) Our poor neighbors have seen me sporting some pretty eclectic outfits when I take Sukee out - haha - Guess I needed a reminder that outward appearances are not that important. In 4th grade, Araella wrote out a bible verse and hung it on the bathroom mirror - it is still there, reminding us daily that God values beauty in relation to the inner character of our heart and the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit. Gosh, I love His Word.
On Monday Araella will have blood drawn, as well as a follow up CT scan and ultrasound. We will meet with multiple doctors on her team to discuss the changes in her body and possibly changes in the treatment plan. That word… plan. It haunts me sometimes. It is such an exhausting word. Planning takes so much time, so much thought, so much energy. I need to be vigilant because I don't want to invest more into planning than I do praying and trusting and hoping. Once again, the music of Tenth Avenue North speaks to me in this song about CONTROL. It is freeing to know that God doesn't need me to plan this all out. He's got it.
While we are away, I will be focusing on Psalm 91. Verse 11 promises that He will send angels to guard us while we are there. Angels are with us. When Araella was two, and we were in church singing, she pointed to the ceiling and whispered, "Angels Mommy." On a few occasions she told me about the angels that she saw and I looked for them. I still look for them. Wouldn't it be amazing to see one!? I used to pray that God would send an angel to me with a message. Hmm, now that I think about it, Araella's name means "angel" in Hebrew ;]
Ok, I need to pack! More later =]
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